For a long while, quite a few years of my life in fact, I was all engrossed in the idea of 'living a fruitful life for God.'
I didn't know exactly what that meant for me, but I was sure it wasn't the life I was already living. (There were plenty of awesome examples to inspire me: people I had met or heard about, who had done big things--to me--like make movies, start businesses, found movements, be witnesses, change lives...)
Sure, God wants us to serve in small ways too; but I was tired of serving in the small ways He had given me; I wanted to serve Him the way I wanted to.
'Fruitful life' went all the way to the top of my prayer list. I had all the ways I wanted to serve God--my ways--listed down, and I was frustrated because I couldn't see any chance of them happening.
God, isn't this a good desire You have given me? I argued. I really want to make an impact for You, do something Big for You! Why won't You answer me? Why won't You give me these opportunities?
It became the all-consuming issue in my spiritual life. Life itself became the scary one chance I had to fulfill all the dreams and hopes I had. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy my life very much, even if I did learn to value it as I ought. Neither was I on very good terms with God, since I felt He wasn't 'cooperating.'
Thank God, since then I've learnt many lessons about this topic, one of which is:
(one!) What really is our top priority in life?
It's really very simple.
Not my dreams and hopes.
Not my relationships with people.
Not for 'things to go well'--even good, truly desirable things, like spiritual maturity, conversions, etc.
Not even what I do for God.
These are all good things and they are parts of our lives which deserve our attention and involvement.
But ultimately, the most important thing is my relationship with You.
(not just before I come to believe in You, but even more much so after.
After all, the real crux of a life-long friendship is not the introduction
--even enemies require introductions--
but the carrying-on, the years which see your friendship grow and deepen, become stronger and better as it perseveres with time.)
That is the simplest and biggest priority in my life.
You made us not just so we could be useful to You and do things for You--that's not the kind of God You are.
You made us, primarily to love You and enjoy Your goodness, and be close to You as You originally intended us to be.
such a simple and good goal in essence.
a quiet voice
Ci thinks some of God's greatest blessings to mankind are
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