Every day, I make mistakes.
I give in to sin.
I make dumb decisions.
I don't realize what I've done until I'm looking at the consequences, when it's too late to do anything.
I make resolutions with the best intentions in the world--
--and break them--
--sometimes don't even realize I've broken them till much later--
writhe in disappointment with myself
-despair at my helplessness
-disgust at the ugliness and weakness and just sheer unlovable-ness
(is that even a word? there's a squiggly red line under it as I type)
that I see in myself.
Hey, I used to be my No. 1 fan! What happened to the nice me I thought existed? Why didn't I realize for so long that that was just the gift wrapped version?
Happily, Jesus didn't base His love for me on how lovable I was. He knew what was inside, even before, and better, than I did. When no one--myself included--could have loved it, He did. His love is rightly the most amazing love ever; because it's the only love which does not depend on how lovable its object is.
O Lord, I know so well that I'm imperfect. Help me not to harp on these imperfections, to let them blind me to Your perfection.
Help me not just to learn humility from them, but also to appreciate Your love for me more.
...to have greater hope in Your ability to change me, in Your power to do so.
Help me not to be so wrapped up in Myself--whether in my successes or failures.
...to have empowering humility and joy.
Humility in myself, but joy in You.
a quiet voice
Ci thinks some of God's greatest blessings to mankind are
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