"...and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, 'Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me..."
As the familiar words hang in the air, I close my eyes, the better to concentrate in the stillness.
Stop. Put it all from your mind--the Sunday School lesson you have to teach later; the dreaded week lying beyond today; the air conditioning which doesn't seem to be working; the annoying tag scratching the back of your neck.
1 Corinthians 11:27 echoes in my mind as it wanders and I hastily, guiltily pull my thoughts together, scandalized to find myself worrying about something left undone even as I try to focus.
This is the Lord's Supper. A time to be still. A time to reflect. A time to repent, to receive, to renew.
I remember my failures, and am sobered.
How badly I have shown my love for You. How little I have thought of Yours.
I feel humbled for the grace shown to me, and grateful.
I resolve to try.
I've failed, and I know I will still fail, but I never want to stop trying; I never want to give up on myself, to give up Your love for me, to keep trying to be worthy of it.
As I do this--as I take that small white square of chewy tasteless bread, swallow the red liquid, actions which happen and are over in a moment, which are effortless, yet mean so much more--I promise to try. I promise You, Whom I love. I promise myself. I reaffirm my desire--to love You--to be worthy of Your love for me--to please You--to know You, in my life.
I want this.
No matter how many times I fall short.
Or how far I fall short.
This little ritual reminds me that to You, it doesn't matter. That I can try, I can keep trying, reassured by hope.
I want You and I want to live worthy of You.
Opening my eyes, I look up, and the last taste of sweetness fades away in my mouth.
a small voice
Ci thinks some of God's greatest blessings to mankind are
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