image by Jeremy Perkins from Unsplash
"Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”
4 When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”
And Moses said, “Here I am.”
Okay, so that was the desert.
Why did Moses make so many excuses when God finally, after what must have seemed years of silence, revealed Himself to him?
God told him, in words that couldn't be any clearer, that yes, He had chosen him to save the people of Israel. After years of self-doubt and disappointment, Moses' pet dream and life goal suddenly exploded into reality. Why didn't he scream "YESSSSS FINALLY I KNEW ITTT"?
After the humbling desert phase he went through, Moses had fallen into the other extreme--the crippling fear of unworthiness and failure.
Like Moses, the excuse of unworthiness often keeps us from serving God.
We don't need to look far. A common protest when it comes to finding new Sunday School teachers/Bible study leaders is always "But I'm not spiritually mature enough!"
Humility, as we can also see in Moses' life, is an essential quality for every servant of God.
Yet often when it comes to serving God we can be manipulated by fear disguising itself under the pious cloak of humility.
When we feel crippled by a sense of self-doubt and unworthiness, instead of panicking we need to ask ourselves several questions:
1. Are we willing? Under all our fears, are we even willing to serve God in the first place? That should be our first self-examination, because that after all is what matters most to God. Our flesh is weak, and will always be weak; but is our spirit willing?
2. God, if He sends us, is sending us with His presence and His help. As with Moses, He promises to be our sufficiency. He repeatedly tells Moses: I will be with you; I will help you; I will help you speak, I will teach you what to say.
(and yet, Moses' fears are louder than the Living God speaking directly to him--actually out loud at that!)
3. It's not just us. Everyone is unworthy to serve God. Let that sink in. God delights in using and transforming unworthy people. He has always used common, unskilled people to do His work. It is the process, not the end--or He would not bother using us at all, since He has the power to accomplish His plans without us.
Hence, we see God's patience in addressing all Moses' fears, as this is also part of God's plan for Moses' own spiritual life, for growth in his relationship with God.
God's outburst was not the irritated banging of a sticky TV remote, but anger against Moses' overwhelming fear and lack of faith, even in the face of God Himself.
God was not just prepping a clumsy tool for His great plan; God was shaping His child.
a small voice
Ci thinks some of God's greatest blessings to mankind are
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